Frau Mutter Renate

꧁ 𝒫𝓇𝑜𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓉𝓊𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝓁𝒹𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹—𝒾𝓉’𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝓁𝒹𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝓅𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒹𝒾𝓈𝑔𝓊𝒾𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝒶𝓈 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓀.꧂

The Hidden Harms of Sex Work, Cheating, and Male Entitlement in the Digital Age

📌If you’re looking for a sanitized take on the intersection of sex work, infidelity, and male entitlement, this isn’t the article for you. But if you’re prepared to confront the raw, unfiltered realities that many women face daily, read on. 

Monique’s Story: A Descent into Trauma

Monique, a 29-year-old woman in Poland, turned to sex work after exhausting every other avenue to survive. Despite her efforts to find conventional employment, her lack of formal education and the challenges of living with ADHD left her with limited options. After a year and a half in the industry, Monique developed severe anxiety and a phobia of phone calls. Her heart races, and she experiences circulatory issues whenever her phone rings—symptoms rooted in repeated experiences of verbal abuse and the Chronik fear of violence from clients.

She cleary stated in her advertisement that she preferred clients aged 28–55 and requested communication via text in English or German. Yet, men aged 60–70 frequently ignored these boundaries, calling her incessantly and becoming hostile when she responded in English. One man, after being ignored twice, offered her 8,000 PLN monthly to accept him. When she declined, he bombarded her with aggressive messages, accusing her of being ugly, weak, and essentially useless.  Monique eventually blocked him, but the damage was done.

👉🏻 The Digital Age: A New Frontier for Misogyny

In today’s interconnected world, platforms like Instagram, Snapchat , tiktok, Telegramm and Tinder have become hunting grounds for men seeking to exploit women. Monique’s experience is not isolated. Many women find their images and personal information shared without consent on forums like Garsoniera in Poland, where men rate and discuss their sexual encounters. These discussions often include derogatory terms like “cichodajki,” a Polish slang term for women who supposedly engage in discreet sexual activities.

Even as early as 2015, women who tried to take legal action against such violations were often dismissed, with authorities citing a lack of evidence or jurisdiction. The situation has only worsened with the rise of encrypted messaging apps like Telegram, where groups with thousands of members share tips on drugging women, cheating on partners, and evading law enforcement.

👉🏻 Why Some Men Don’t See Sex with Prostitutes as Cheating

1. “It’s Just Physical” Logic

Many men compartmentalize sex and emotions:

• They convince themselves that cheating = emotional connection.

• If they don’t “feel” anything for the sex worker, they rationalize it as harmless.

This is especially common among men with avoidant attachment styles, low empathy, or strong entitlement.

⸻

2. Power & Control

Prostitution offers a scenario where:

• The man controls the interaction.

• There’s no risk of rejection, emotional expectations, or accountability.

This makes it easier to dehumanize the woman and detach morally from the act.

⸻

3. Cultural and Peer Normalization

In some male circles (military, bachelor parties, corporate trips):

• Visiting prostitutes is normalized or even encouraged.

• Men bond over it and see it as “just something guys do.”

In those contexts, it’s often not even called cheating, just “blowing off steam.”

⸻

4. Compartmentalization

Psychologically, some men use dissociation or moral splitting:

• “I love my wife, this has nothing to do with her.”

• They convince themselves they’re still faithful in heart, even if not in body.

⸻

5. Denial and Secrecy

Even if a man knows it’s cheating:

• He may pretend to himself that it doesn’t count.

• Or he lies by omission and justifies it as a one-off mistake or stress relief.

⸻

Research Says:

• A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (2004) found that 30–40% of married men who visit sex workers did not consider it cheating, especially if they didn’t have an emotional affair.

• In surveys of infidelity, men are significantly more likely than women to exclude commercial sex from their definition of cheating.

• In studies of male clients of prostitution (e.g., Melissa Farley’s work), many openly say they don’t feel guilt—some even feel “entitled” to the service, regardless of relationship status.

⸻

But Here’s the Catch:

If the roles are reversed—and their wife paid for sex—the majority of those same men would see that as cheating.

That double standard reveals how cheating is often not about ethics for men—it’s about control, ego, and hypocrisy.

⸻

🧠 Psychological Profiles of Men Who Pay for Sex

1. Hegemonic Masculinity and Control

Research indicates that many men who pay for sex align with traditional notions of hegemonic masculinity. They often view sex as a drive and seek variety in partners, rationalizing their actions as economic exchanges. However, these men also express desires for intimacy and emotional connection, highlighting complexities in their motivations.   

2. Emotional Needs and Intimacy

Some men seek out sex workers not solely for physical gratification but to fulfill emotional needs. They may desire companionship, conversation, and a sense of being cared for, which they might not receive in their personal relationships.

3. Hostile Masculinity and Sexual Aggression

A study published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence found that men who buy sex are more likely to exhibit traits associated with sexual aggression, such as hostile masculinity and a preference for impersonal sex. These individuals often display less empathy towards women, particularly those in prostitution.  

⸻

🔗 Psychological Profiles of Men Who Visit Dominatrix Studios

1. Desire for Power Exchange

Men who visit dominatrix studios often seek experiences that involve power dynamics, where they can relinquish control in a safe and consensual environment. This desire can stem from high-pressure roles in their personal or professional lives, where they are expected to be in control.

2. Exploration of Submissive Desires

These individuals may have submissive tendencies that they wish to explore. Engaging with a dominatrix allows them to experience vulnerability and submission, which can be psychologically liberating and fulfilling. Such experiences are often non-sexual and focus on psychological aspects of dominance and submission.

3. Emotional and Intellectual Satisfaction

Engaging in BDSM activities can provide emotional and intellectual satisfaction. It offers a structured environment where individuals can explore aspects of their identity and desires that are not typically addressed in conventional relationships.  

📊 Summary

Profile	Men Who Pay for Sex	Men Who Visit Dominatrix Studios
Motivations	Physical gratification, emotional connection, control	Power exchange, submission, emotional exploration
Psychological Traits	Hegemonic masculinity, potential for hostile attitudes	Desire for vulnerability, exploration of identity
Emotional Needs	Companionship, intimacy	Emotional and intellectual satisfaction
Behavioral Patterns	Seeking variety, impersonal sex	Structured, consensual non-sexual activities

⚖️ Ethical and Relational Considerations 

While some men may not consider paying for sex as infidelity, partners may feel differently. Discovering such behavior can lead to feelings of betrayal and damage trust within a relationship. Open communication about boundaries and expectations is crucial to navigate these complex issues. 

The normalization of exploiting women, whether through sex work or online platforms, is a societal issue that needs urgent attention. It’s time to hold men accountable for their actions and challenge the cultural norms that enable such behavior. Women like Monique deserve respect, safety, and the freedom to set boundaries without fear of retribution.

⸻

📑 Note: This article is based on real experiences and supported by academic research. For further reading, refer to the cited studies.