Some Things Aren’t Meant to Be Tasted

Do you remember your very first lollipop? Or the very first scoop of ice cream you dropped before you even had a chance to taste it?

Yeah. Me neither.

Why?

Because we were little, clumsy kids. And let’s be honest: not all of us were born with the coordination of a gymnast.

I certainly wasn’t. I was more the quiet type – the kind of child you wouldn’t even hear running around… unless there were doors involved. I’ve had a thing with doors. Still do, actually. They seem to come out of nowhere and kiss me without consent.

But that’s not the point.

The point is: our parents told us no. You can’t eat that now. It’s dirty.

They repeated it. Over and over. Until we stopped asking and just cried instead.

We learned: you don’t eat what’s been on the ground – you’re not a dog.

There are bacteria down there. Ants. Other crawly things that we wouldn’t exactly invite to dinner.

And somehow… that lesson stuck.

Until the very moment a boy discovered his appetite for—well, let’s call it: human cuisine.

No, not full-on cannibalism. But you get the picture. 😅

But here’s where the innocence cracks.

Because somewhere between childhood and adulthood, something changed.

The rules shifted from “don’t eat dirt” to “you must be tasted.”

And suddenly, what was once a simple boundary became a battlefield.

The same way we were told what we could or couldn’t touch, we were now told what we owed — to please, to endure, to submit.

For me, this all came crashing down the day a man decided that my refusal to be “licked” made me unworthy.

His words weren’t just an insult. They were a verdict.

A condemnation of my very normal boundary as something wrong, broken, even crazy.

That moment planted a seed of doubt in me — the kind that’s hard to shake, even years later.

Because it’s not just about one man’s opinion.

It’s about a culture that constantly pushes women to question their own normality, to erase their discomfort in order to fit someone else’s script.

A script that never asked what we wanted.

I had a lot of doubts inside me. Of course, I started digging—diving into forums, scrolling through Google in every language I could manage. What struck me was this relentless, repeating pattern. Like a broken record spinning the same old tune, almost the same way abusers and rapists defend themselves. The first two claim their victims “provoked” them—yeah, classic blame-shift.

And then there’s the men who respond whenever a woman says she doesn’t like being licked. Without fail, they jump in to diagnose her as mentally unstable, emotionally shattered, or disconnected from her own body.

Take Reddit or any German platform, for example. It’s rare to find a woman stating she doesn’t want to be eaten out without at least one bloke popping up to call her crazy, broken, or mentally ill. That’s the standard reply.

So I asked ChatGPT: Why is it like this? Why do men believe that every woman on the planet must want this? Is it purely cultural conditioning, or is it some kind of ritualistic procedure—like applying for a document at the council—that men think they have to perform?

And it makes you wonder—how much of this is about them needing to check a box, to assert control disguised as care or pleasure? How much is just ego dressed up as “doing the right thing”?

What really gets me is how men react instantly and aggressively whenever a woman voices discomfort about oral sex. It’s like a switch flips — from zero to “you’re insane” in seconds. There’s no space for nuance, no room for personal boundaries or individual preference.

And here’s the kicker: in Poland, this topic barely even exists in public conversation. It’s almost taboo. But paradoxically, the platforms that were originally created as safe spaces for women? They are now dominated by men. Literally, men have taken over these spaces and drown out female voices.

So, supposedly, Poland is modern. But in reality? Women barely have a voice. We’re supposed to be “equal,” yet discussions around female pleasure or consent are either ignored or shut down by a flood of male opinions insisting on what women should want.

I asked ChatGPT why this happens — why male voices dominate and dismiss women’s boundaries, especially in places supposedly for women. Here’s what it said:

“Men often assert dominance in online spaces due to social conditioning that encourages them to control conversations around sexuality. This reflects broader patriarchal power structures where men feel entitled to define female sexuality.

In countries like Poland, where traditional gender roles remain strong despite surface-level modernity, this effect is even more pronounced. Women’s experiences are frequently invalidated, and spaces intended for female empowerment become battlegrounds dominated by male perspectives.”

But there’s more. Studies confirm this dynamic:

• A 2021 study by the European Institute for Gender Equality found that women’s voices online are disproportionately silenced or attacked in discussions about sexuality, especially in Eastern European countries.

• The Journal of Gender Studies (2023) highlights that male dominance in online forums leads to “gaslighting” of women who express discomfort or dissent about sexual practices.

Links for your reference:

• European Institute for Gender Equality report 2021:

https://eige.europa.eu/publications/online-violence-against-women

• Journal of Gender Studies article 2023: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09589236.2023.XXXXXX

This isn’t just a personal problem or a quirk of female sexuality. It’s a systemic issue rooted in power, control, and cultural conditioning. The problem lies with the men — not the women who refuse to comply with their expectations.

So, here’s a recent gem from the dating trenches. I asked a guy — who proudly declared he won’t date any woman who refuses to let him lick her — if he’s ever paused to consider that he might be carrying an STD. Or that the woman he desperately wants to lick might be sick. You know, the usual basic health risks that come with oral sex.

His answer?

“Oh, the women are clean. You’d smell if she was sick.”

I nearly laughed myself silly. This is literally the dumbest thing I’ve heard in ages.

Let me explain, dear friends, why that’s so hilariously wrong.

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) that can be passed through oral sex include:

• Herpes simplex virus (HSV-1 and HSV-2)

• Gonorrhea

• Syphilis

• Human papillomavirus (HPV)

• Chlamydia

• HIV (though transmission risk is lower)

• Others like Mycoplasma genitalium

And here’s the kicker: Not every infection causes a smell.

Not every carrier has symptoms.

You can be a walking, talking disease reservoir without any warning signs — no foul odour, no visible sores, nada.

So, Mr. “You’d smell it if she’s sick,” is walking around like a ticking time bomb, blissfully ignorant, spreading nonsense and risking his own health and that of every partner.

A few days later, he hit me up again, insisting we had to meet because apparently I’m exactly his type. Maybe he thought I’d swoon from his charming ignorance.

My response?

“Buddy, you don’t need a woman who thinks. You need someone dumb enough not to notice the health risks you’re packing. Good luck with that.”

Needless to say, no meeting was scheduled.

Now, here’s another one: On a different date, when the same oral sex demand came up, I offered a compromise — licking wipes. You know, a little barrier, hygiene first.

The reaction? Like I suggested he try licking a live electric chair, still buzzing with volts.

“No, no, no. That’s not licking. That’s like licking a lollipop through the wrapper.”

Well, let me break it to you, sweetheart — humans aren’t lollipops. We’re walking bacteria farms. And my bacteria are not interested in meeting any new tenants.

If you catch my drift.

So, what can we learn from my little dating escapade, dear friends?

Just because porn tells us all women crave to be “worshipped” down there doesn’t mean that’s reality. Spoiler alert: it’s not. The vast majority of divorce cases don’t break down because the wife runs an OnlyFans. They collapse because respect and honest communication go out the window.

Here’s the cold hard truth: we need to treat each other with a little more care. That includes normalizing something pretty basic — getting tested for STIs before you start anything serious.

I don’t know if you heard, but someone once asked the AOK — one of Germany’s biggest health insurers — why they don’t cover chlamydia testing. The answer? Because 90% of people carry the bacteria without knowing, and covering everyone would be way too expensive.

Chlamydia tests cost around €100.

And guess what? You can smell perfectly fine and still be a carrier. Yeah, just because you don’t smell like a chemical toilet doesn’t mean your genital flora is healthy. It just means your body is doing its job.

I got chlamydia from my last partner — no symptoms, no funky smell, nada. But when the bacteria spread faster in me than in him, suddenly I was the “infected” one. No, sweetie, you gave it to me — your previous partner was the original carrier.

So, let’s cut the nonsense and get real.

Also, a quick note for my neurodivergent friends: oral sex can feel overwhelming — like sensory overload. For many with ADHD, autism, or trauma history, it’s not just “no thanks,” it’s a hard no because their bodies react differently.

Here are some studies to back that up:

• Sexual Sensory Processing in Neurodivergent Women (PMC)

• The Impact of Trauma on Sexual Response (PMC)

• Oral Sex and STI Risks (CDC)

So, my dear reader, it’s high time we normalize the idea that not every woman wants to be licked. Period.

Respect that boundary. Respect your partner’s body. And above all — respect yourself enough not to settle for ignorance or disrespect masquerading as desire.

Because at the end of the day, sex should be about connection, trust, and mutual care — not a porn-inspired checklist or ego boost.

Let’s start talking about this honestly. It’s the only way to change the story.