Frau Mutter Renate

꧁ 𝒜 𝓌𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝓈𝑒𝑒𝓀𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓋𝒶𝓁 𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑒𝓍𝓅𝑒𝓃𝓈𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓃 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝓉𝑜𝑜𝓁 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝒶𝓉𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓇𝒸𝒽𝓎.꧂

The Man Who Demanded My Time

Recently, I encountered a man on a dating app who perfectly embodied the entitlement that fuels pick-me behavior in both men and women.

He called me, and I told him I couldn’t talk. Instead of respecting that, he insisted on his right to my time.

When I mentioned I was stressed, he dismissed it:

“You’re not as stressed as I am. I called another girl who had ‘open to everything’ in her profile, and she dared to ask me my penis size! That’s unacceptable! If she says she’s open to everything, she shouldn’t expect me to answer that kind of question.”

He was furious—not because someone crossed his boundaries, but because a woman set a boundary of her own. In his mind, her willingness to engage sexually meant she had no right to ask questions, no right to expectations, no right to anything except fulfilling his desires.

I responded the way I usually do with men like him:

“You don’t sound like a grown man. You sound like a spoiled child who had too much sugar shoved up his ass by his mommy.”

And that’s exactly what he was—a man raised without learning the basic concepts of mutual respect, emotional intelligence, or accountability. Instead, he was taught that women exist to serve his needs without any expectation of consideration in return.

This mindset is not just a personal problem; it’s a reflection of a larger systemic issue that can be seen in history, philosophy, politics, and even pop culture.

Pick-Me Behavior and Power Struggles in Game of Thrones

Take Viserys Targaryen, Daenerys’s brother. He spent his life believing he was owed the Iron Throne, despite doing nothing to earn it. He demanded power but lacked the intelligence or strength to wield it.

This mirrors the entitlement of pick-me men, who think they deserve women’s time, attention, and bodies just because they exist.

Now contrast this with Tyrion Lannister. Unlike Viserys, he understands that power must be earned. He adapts, strategizes, and acknowledges his weaknesses instead of demanding the world cater to him.

These two characters reflect real-life gender dynamics:

• Entitled men demand women’s submission without offering respect.

• Mature men understand that relationships require effort and reciprocity.

Jon Snow: The Pick-Me King?

Jon Snow, despite his heroism, often displayed pick-me traits. He bent the knee to Daenerys and constantly sought her approval, showing how even strong figures can fall into pick-me behavior. This highlights a psychological aspect where even powerful men can exhibit traits of submission and insecurity in their relationships.

Pick-me behavior in men can often be overlooked but is significant. It shows how insecurity and the need for approval can shape actions, even in leadership roles.

What Is Pick-Me Behavior?

“Pick-me” behavior is when someone—man or woman—desperately seeks approval from the opposite sex, even if it means undermining their own dignity or betraying their own group.

Types of Pick-Me Behavior:

• Pick-Me Girl – Says things like, “I’m not like other girls,” shaming women to gain male approval.

• Pick-Me Woman – Defends the patriarchy, calls feminists “bitter,” and justifies misogyny.

• Pick-Me Boy – Tries to stand out by pretending to be a “nice guy” while still harboring sexist views.

• Pick-Me Man – Expects sex, attention, or emotional labor from women simply because he exists.

This behavior doesn’t appear in a vacuum—it’s a symptom of economic, political, and social structures designed to keep power in the hands of men.

Marx, Beauvoir, and the Economics of Pick-Me Behavior

Karl Marx argued that oppression thrives by dividing the oppressed. The ruling class stays in power by making sure workers compete against each other instead of uniting against their true oppressors.

The same applies to gender dynamics.

• Patriarchy conditions women to compete for male validation rather than challenge male dominance.

• Men who reject toxic masculinity are shamed by other men, keeping them trapped in the system.

Simone de Beauvoir put it best:

“One is not born a woman; one becomes one.”

This means that gender roles are not natural—they are taught. Pick-me behavior is learned survival behavior, but that doesn’t mean it should be accepted.

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Politics and Pick-Me Behavior

Governments often weaponize pick-me behavior to control women.

1. When women support policies that restrict their own rights (like anti-abortion laws), they are playing the pick-me role on a larger scale.

2. When men use politics to restrict women’s education, healthcare, or freedom, they aren’t just harming women—they are crippling entire societies.

History shows that the more a nation suppresses its women, the weaker it becomes. When you control women’s bodies, you control their choices, and when you control their choices, you control the future of the entire population.

Cultural Impact and Historical Parallels

Historically, powerful women like Daenerys Targaryen, Catherine the Great, and Hürrem Sultan have been vilified or reduced to negative stereotypes. These women, who defied traditional roles, were often labeled as manipulative or power-hungry, while their male counterparts, despite committing atrocities, were celebrated as great leaders. This double standard continues today, as social media platforms amplify similar biases, promoting content that upholds traditional gender norms.

The King Who Killed His Wives

A stark example is King Henry VIII of England, who infamously executed two of his six wives for failing to produce a male heir. This historical precedent mirrors the way social media can punish women for stepping outside prescribed roles, reinforcing a culture that stifles female empowerment.

The Social Media Dilemma: Promoting Pick-Me Culture and Restricting Feminism

Instagram’s Algorithmic Bias

When you start an account as a woman, the difference in reach between a photo in a bikini and one where you’re fully dressed is stark. Even if both posts are about feminism, the bikini photo is more likely to be shown because it aligns with what Instagram promotes: content that caters to the male gaze. Conversely, content that focuses on feminism or self-love is often shadow-banned, limiting its reach and visibility.

Meta’s Promotion Policies

Yesterday, I attempted to promote content on Instagram through Meta Pay. However, the platform immediately flagged it as “too broad” simply because I selected the “feminist ideology” category. Instead of recognizing feminism as a legitimate subject, Instagram diminishes it by labeling it an “ideology,” making it difficult to target the right audience. This effectively censors content that challenges traditional norms.

The Algorithm’s Role

Social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok are more likely to promote content that aligns with patriarchal standards, such as beauty products, fitness, and soft porn, which cater to male interests. In contrast, content that promotes feminist values or mental health awareness often faces suppression. This bias not only perpetuates harmful stereotypes but also reinforces pick-me behavior by rewarding content that conforms to these norms.

Conclusion: The Power of Choice and the Path Forward

Social media, economic systems, and patriarchal structures shape how we perceive power, gender, and control. Countries that uphold male dominance foster pick-me behavior, forcing individuals to conform to toxic gender roles just to survive.

Pick-me behavior is a choice—but it’s a choice made in a world where many don’t realize they are being conditioned into submission.

So ask yourself:

Are you willing to grow out of it?

How often have you criticized another woman to gain male approval—even unconsciously?

This is not just about one man on a dating app or one woman defending misogyny. This is about a cultural shift. If we recognize the problem, we can start dismantling it. It starts with awareness, and it ends with action.

How will you take the first step?

Share your thoughts in comment …