Frau Mutter Renate

꧁ 𝒞𝑜𝓃𝓈𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝓃 𝑜𝓅𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃. 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓈 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒹𝑜𝓂 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒶𝑔𝓇𝑒𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒶𝓁𝓈𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝒽𝑜𝑜𝓈𝑒꧂

Monique’s Story: A Night That Should Have Been Safe

Monique had always been cautious. She was clear in her dating profile—she wasn’t looking for casual encounters. She wanted something real. But dating was exhausting, and sometimes, you just wanted to let go for a night.

Yesterday, she called me in tears. She had gone on a date with a man who seemed charming at first. He poured her a drink, then another, and another. He laughed off her hesitation, reassuring her: “Just relax, enjoy the night.” She started feeling lightheaded.

He invited her back to his place. She hesitated but eventually agreed. Things escalated quickly, but she was firm about one thing: “With a condom.”

He seemed fine with it—at first. But in the middle of it, she felt something was off. “Did you take it off?” she asked, her body tense. He smirked. “It feels better this way.”

Monique panicked. She pushed him off and ran out. He called after her, “Don’t be dramatic. It’s not a big deal.”

But it was a big deal. What he did wasn’t just deceitful—it was sexual assault.

The Reality of Stealthing: It’s a Crime, Not Just ‘Bad Sex’

What happened to Monique isn’t rare. In fact, studies show that nearly 10% of men admit to removing condoms without consent during sex, an act commonly known as “stealthing.” One study published in Psychology of Women Quarterly found that men who engage in stealthing do so repeatedly, with an average of 3.62 instances per person (PMC).

This isn’t just a case of miscommunication—it’s a form of sexual violence.

In Germany, a police officer was convicted of sexual assault in 2018 for removing a condom without consent. He received an eight-month prison sentence and a €3,000 fine (CNN).

In Switzerland, the Supreme Court ruled that stealthing constitutes rape if a condom was an agreed-upon condition (Wikipedia).

The psychology behind it is even more disturbing. Research from the University of the Sunshine Coast found that stealthing is linked to the “Dark Triad” of personality traits—psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism. Psychopathy, in particular, was a strong predictor of men engaging in stealthing (News.com.au).

This means that men who do this know exactly what they’re doing—and they do it because they enjoy power and control.

The Roots of This Mentality: Religion, Patriarchy, and Power

The entitlement behind stealthing didn’t come out of nowhere. It’s rooted in centuries of patriarchal and religious conditioning that told men sex was their right.

In Christianity and Judaism, contraception was historically condemned. Some Orthodox Jewish beliefs consider spilling semen “wasteful”—meaning a condom is seen as interfering with a man’s reproductive duty. Similarly, Catholicism preached that sex should be only for procreation, reinforcing the idea that women should simply accept pregnancy as their fate.

These religious narratives continue today in more subtle ways. Society still teaches women that they must be responsible for birth control, while men feel entitled to “raw sex” because they believe they shouldn’t have to bear any consequences.

The Legal Grey Area: Why Stealthing Isn’t Always Prosecuted

While stealthing is recognized as a form of sexual assault in places like Germany and Switzerland, in many countries, it remains a legal grey area.

In the US, California became the first state to make stealthing illegal in 2021, but the law only allows victims to sue for damages—it doesn’t classify it as a criminal offense. Most legal systems still struggle to keep up with the ways in which men manipulate consent.

What Needs to Change?

1. Legal Recognition: Stealthing needs to be criminalized worldwide as a form of sexual assault. If someone removes a condom without consent, they should face the same consequences as any other form of sexual violence.

2. Shifting the Narrative: Men must stop seeing condom use as an “option” and start seeing it as a requirement of mutual consent.

3. Accountability: Women need to report and expose these men. Sharing these stories isn’t just awareness—it’s a warning.

Monique’s story is just one of many. But it doesn’t have to keep happening. If we start calling stealthing what it really is—a crime, not just a “bad hookup”—maybe fewer men will get away with it.

🚨 If this has happened to you, you are not alone. Seek legal advice and call it what it is: a violation of your consent.